I don’t really have balance in life but I try to make one.
2018-03-20


People don’t understand why I’m extra nice.

As a person who has borderline personality disorder, I can never tell if I’m being too harsh or little weird when I’m talking. They usually find me weird coz they never heard of it or didn’t believe it will happen until it actually happened. And when it happens it usually freaks them out. Lol

I see everything in black and white, I change my mind in every split seconds about everything but I learned to train myself that once I spoke out the decision “outta my mouth” then that’s the decision I will stay with no matter how many times I change my mind in my head.

That’s how bad it is but I try to stay in control and be more positive than I really am. 99% of the time I’m numb. I never really know what’s my mood are except on the days when I’m horny as hell. Sex is almost addictive for me.

90% of the time I find people worthless. But 10% of people who are so good to me gives me the reason why I need to be extra nice and be a good person.

I do come off as an asshole when I’m not smiling or friendly. I say things that nobody would say it but thinks about it. That’s kinda why I’m extra nice.

I act on things that everybody is scared of doing.

Once I love, I love like there’s no tomorrow.

Once I disown my love for you as a friend or lover, there’s never going back.

before // after