ENGLISH SUCKS

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2023-06-23 - Only God knows why...

The date is set. I'm leaving Canada on the night of September 2nd, on Saturday. My best friend Evin is flying in and he's gonna be with me for 3 days road trip to Boston.

My cancer.....well they've set the surgery date and it wont happen until December 2024 tho....

I don't really know what the fuck is going on but whatever. I'm still going to live my life but with pain meds for awhile.

I just need to get the fuck outta here. My job as a big sister duty to my younger siblings whos now adults are done. They're finally settled in and happier with what they got now.

It's my turn to live.

I've been listening to this Kid Rock song over and over over..it just resonate with me.


I've been sittin' here tryin' to find myself

I get behind myself, I need to rewind myself

Lookin' for the payback, listen for the playback

They say that every man bleeds just like me


And I feel like number one yet I'm last in line

I watch my youngest son and it helps to pass the time

I take too many pills that helps to ease the pain

I made a couple dollar bills, still I feel the same


Everybody knows my name

They say it way out loud

A lot of folks fuck with me

It's hard to hang out in crowds


I guess that's the price you pay

To be some big shot like I am

Out stretched hands and one night stands

Still I can't find love


And when your walls come tumblin' down

I will always be around, yeah


And when your walls come tumblin' down

I will always be around


People don't know 'bout the things I say and do

They don't understand 'bout the shit that I've been through

It's been so long since I've been home

I've been gone, I've been gone for way too long


Maybe I forgot all the things I miss

Oh, somehow I know there's more to life than this

I said it too many times and I still stand firm

You get what you put in

And people get what they deserve


Still I ain't seen mine

No, I ain't seen mine

I've been givin', just ain't been gettin'

I've been walkin' that there line


So I think I'll keep a walkin'

With my head held high

I'll keep movin' on

And only God knows why


Only God, only God

Only God knows why

Only God knows why, why, why

Only God knows why

Take me to the river, hey

Won't you take me to the river, hey, hey, yeah


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