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2016-09-19 - 2016

You know that one quote that says “the things you fear the most have already happened to you”?

2015-2016 have made that quote come true for me. Like if I made a list of the 10 things I’m most afraid of, at least 6 of them have happened in the last year.

And after all that shit, I’m still here… and I’m okay… and I’m calm and happy at the moment. Two years ago, If you would have told me all these things would happen and that I’d still be happy I would have told you that you were insane.

But here we are.

I lost my relationship. I was robbed by my last ex. I was raped by two people at same time. I lost a whole lot of money. I lost a few close friends. I (temporarily) lost my car. My physical health deteriorated.

I’m not going to lie like I just pranced through all this shit without it affecting me. Of course it affected me. But I got through all of it and it didn’t break me.

I’ve learned how strong and resilient I am. I am always trying.

And looking back on that list of 10 things I was most afraid of ….. a lot of it isn’t so scary anymore because I’ve been there and done that. I know what I can endure now if need be.

All that shit only served to make me smarter and more determined. The life lessons I’ve been slapped in the face with …. bitch it hurts ….

And I’m only able to write this post because I feel good about myself and life in general with a new sense of direction and focus. Even tho I had a mental breakdown last night and wanted to relapse but I didn't. I ran around the block for 45 mins and screamed my head off af the end of my running. I felt better after that. I'm just happy I didn't relapse.

I’m rambling now. But yeah. Anyways, goodnight.


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