2023-03-17 - Jordan, my kindred spirit.

"It's crazy we have this special connection throughout the years, even decades!" he said.

"Yeah I know", we were talking on zoom.

"when was the last time we talked?" he asked...

"I think you know the answer but I believe it was 2016, you were in a bad relationship with this lady and you were..." he interrupted me "I was trying to kill myself and you saved me" he finished my sentence.

"yeah" I said.

Let me fill you in a quick back story about us:

Jordan and I grew up together in same church, and elementary school. We also shared same kind of group of friends during high school years. And then he's always the guy that would save me from bad situations through out of my life. Lmao.

When I was 16, I wasn't happy with my first relationship, and I realized at that time I wanted to be a pro vollebyball player so I had to focus on my sports at that time. I remember we were sitting in my dad's van as I was trying to figure out how to break up with a 16 Y/O boyfriend, and as we're about to get out of the van, he said "if I was older than you (hes 13 at the time), I would have you treated like you are a queen that you deserved and I'll just be your Eggo."

"why Eggo? whats Eggo?" I asked.

"I'm nothing but like an egg. I'm nobody. I'm not handsome...." He said but I cut him off with "But I like eggs, or eggos." I gave him a hug for making me smile and I also gave him a kiss on his cheek to say "thank you". I couldn't help but smiled at him. I knew he was gonna be a great boyfriend when hes older.

When I was 24, he was a university student, and lived in a dorm. I was dealing with domestic violence relationship that I was trying to get out of. He took me in his dorm and allowed me to sleep on his bed and he slept on the floor. Then I managed to get up and left before he woke up.

When I was 30, I found out that one of my childhood friends stole his girlfriend behind his back and Jordan was devastated about it, so I gave him a call on FaceTime and then we chatted for 8 hours straight. We talked about his past relationships, his current relationship at that time and then he was feeling better.

When I was 34, I had a dream that he wanted to kill himself but he was asking me for help in my dreams. As soon as I woke up, I actually called Jordan on FaceTime and checked on him. It turned out that my dreams were coming true because he was on the verge of killing himself, he was gonna kill himself on that day but I called and stopped him. We stayed on the phone for 18 hours straight. We also finally got into a conversation about why we never dated each other, but we always had urges or yearning for each other.

"How come we never dated?" he asked.

"I think it's because I'm older than you by 3 years and I don't think your parents would want you to be with someone whos little wild." I said.

"wild? you?" he asked.

"Yeah, not a lot of Filipinos likes Native people like me. I'm a native girl you're crushing on hard, I'm crushing hard on you and your parents won't like that, we both knew that." I said.

"No..I don't care about that, I mean you are one of the most beautiful women in my eyes. You are a woman I wanted.." he said.

"I know. " I said, I was feeling sad.

Then last night, I finally got to talk to him on Zoom. He was clearly so happy to see my face.

"How long has it been?" he asked

"It's been a long time, and congratulations on your new marriage and two beautiful daughters!" I said as I congratulated to him and he said "Thank you!".

"I hope you're happy this time, and shes treating you right." I went on as I couldn't be happier. Then he said, "my wife and I are ok, but I'm happy to have my daughters, I'm more happier that I'm talking to you now. It's been years! How's everything? new relationship yet?" he asked, got all curious about my life.

"No boyfriends or girlfriends. I don't think I want relationship now. I'm single, with no major responsibilities, no kids, no commitments and I guess I'm just doing some research on how to get a cargo van and convert it into a home so I can live a live in Van lifestyle...." I went on then he stopped me.

"I love you Kali. I'm so happy we're always connected somehow. I wish I could hug you now." He said.

" I love you too Eggo."

I said it for the first time but it's going to be the last time I'll ever say it.

"am I always yours?"

"You know you can't be mine but yeah you'll always be my Eggo. So whenever you see my comments 'hey Eggo', then you'd know I'm thinking of you and that I love you. I'm happy for you." I said.

"you'll always be my queen." he said with a smile.

"Alright, lets get back into this business, shall we?" I asked.

"I agree." he said.

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