2022-12-22 - it's been awhile
my homeboys have been texting with lots of love but it wasn't anything special although I do appreciate them.
I am afraid to fall in love. I know that. I am afraid to love completely. I know that.
But I do want to fall in love but it seems that it gotta be natural, and its something that isn't because I'm searching for it.
One of them boys offered to be a sperm donor just because he thought I'd be an amazing mom even though he doesn't realize that I don't have the desire to have a kid.
Someone said having your own baby will change your life completely. I do believe that but I think I would be miserable because I am so spoiled with the freedom I have right now and I am 40. I'm going to be 41 in January...its a little too late for that.
Then I have this guy named Dre. But I'm cancelling him because I found out that he's messing with one of my female friends and its just weird lol and he cheated on her. I couldn't tolerate with that, and beside who wants to get into that kind of mess? Dick isn't even worth it. lol
Oh yeah I passed first semester exam. I hated college but I passed. So thats a good thing.
I got like 2 more years to go.
fuck me..
I always had a hard time believing in my beauty but these two made me feel so pretty, so accurate, and somehow powerful.